Can we really be ourselves?
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. — Bernard M. Baruch
I love this quote. Isn’t it awesome?
We spend too much time worrying about what other people think. As I get older I am learning more and more that being yourself is the way to go. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves anyway to be worrying about you.
Why is being authentic so important? If we aren’t authentic to what we truly think, feel and want then we are just wearing a mask, hiding and pretending. This will lead to us feeling unworthy and unloved. And don’t we all want to feel worthy and loved?
Fear of what other’s will think of us is also holding us back. We can’t really shine as individuals and we are prevented from fully, or even at all, expressing ourselves and making a difference in the lives of others.
This quote from the lovely and wise Marianne Williamson says it all.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
If you really read that quote and reread it every day, it starts to dawn on you that we have a responsibility to the world to shine and be our glorious selves. And we are all glorious!
Shining our light is the having the courage to be yourself and letting your gifts and talents out into the world.
By having the courage to step up and be ourselves, we can help others do the same. And if people judge us, that’s on them. Judging saying more about the judges than the judged.
Authenticity is the only way you can be happy. Being yourself is the only way to feel love.
You cannot feel love by pretending to be something, or someone, you are not.
Because even if someone loves us then, we will always think, “they wouldn’t really love me if they really knew me.” Hiding the real you will prevent your inner self from feeling valued, seen and understood. Basic human needs.
How am I learning to be more authentic?
I am speaking my mind more. I have opinions and they are of value. You don’t have to agree with me, nor I with you. I am speaking out more and also listening more. Listening is key.
By paying attention to what matters to me. Being mindful and living in the moment helps teach me what makes me feel good, happy and on purpose. Then I can do actions that help take me closer to these things.
I apologize when I screw up. And boy do I do that often! Being willing to say, “Hey, I’m sorry. That’s was wrong.” enables me to show my mistakes to the world, forgive myself and helps others forgive me.
I read books like “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown to help expand my understanding of vulnerability and to see the link between my being open and vulnerable to my ability to feel loved.
Practicing self-acceptance. Loving myself makes it easier to open up to others. Paying attention to that negative voice that sometimes pops up in my head and stopping it as soon as I notice really helps me to change that broken tape.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” e.e. Cummings
Embracing the courage to be myself is a lifelong practice, but so worth it! Living an authentic life will give you the fulfillment we are all looking for.
“Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world.” Adam Grant
I write articles on healthy living, finding fulfillment and happiness, medications and medical topics, yoga and living an adventurous life. Living your best life!